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Becoming the Sea

with Teagan 

Let's Just Begin...

5/30/2022

4 Comments

 
Someone told me recently that even when good things are happening, remember to take care of yourself. Some of you may be thinking, that’s kind of odd. Why would you need to take care of yourself? Life is taking care of you. You should be basking in all the joy, the love, the beauty - oh, the list goes on. 

Well, I can tell you that is all very true but what is also true is that shit can and will hit the fan, for some of you.
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Something that does not get talked about enough is what can come along with the joys of life. Maybe not for everyone but for those of you that have experienced trauma - it’s coming for you. That trauma doesn’t just come and kick you when you are down but it’ll also drag you down when you are at your highest and goddamn, that’s almost harder. At least for me - let me explain. 

​Normally, when you are down, you and that trauma are kind of best buds. You are sharing a PB & J, swapping war stories, and laughing at how terrible and foolish you are. 
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Oh the comradery is so strong! Don’t get me wrong, this is a dark, dark place; what is different though is you have a sense of belonging with your trauma. You don’t feel so alone because you know this trauma, you know what they are going to say, think, and feel. You’ve been through it all together and you’ll always have each other. 

Now, when you are strong, fierce, and brave, that same trauma is PISSED. It turns into your anchor. Holding you down as your heavy reminder of who you are, who the trauma expects you to be. It says, you cannot forget about me - I was here on your darkest days and by the way, you still aren’t worthy. 
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You have this sense of confusion, frustration, anger, and you feel lost. And to top it off, not only are you experiencing all these things, plus whatever joy is currently happening, but you are also seeing the trauma more clearly than you ever have before. You can see that trauma for what it truly is and yet, you can’t let go. It’s part of you and even though you are so very strong right now, there is still a tiny bit of doubt in you that believes this trauma. There is a bit of truth that the trauma holds. 

There are a lot of things running through your head and your heart is full of so many emotions - making you feel stuck and more
alone than you ever have before. It’s a confusing place to be and it’s a confusing place for others to understand. 


I think I’m at this place right now. 


Right here, right now, as I’m writing this - I don’t know what the exact answer is yet. I mean, I kind of do - I know that I need to sit here with this for a while because it’s not going anywhere. The answer for sure is not to ignore it. I’ve tried that and it comes back with a vengeance and bites you in the ass, so check that one off the list of things not to try. I think this trauma and part of me needs a little care and a little attention. Have you tried that? 


For now, let’s try sitting with it - not forever but for now. And remember, we are not what has happened to us. 
4 Comments
Wendy
6/4/2022 07:23:08 am

It's time to re-pattern the habits of our thinking. If we come back to the source, where we as humans and the Universe as a whole began, we can work through our energetic blockages to create space for energy to move, allowing us to set free so many of these old habits that are holding us back. Beautiful post, friend!

Reply
Teagan link
6/7/2022 07:42:34 am

That's the perfect way of explaining it! And knowing that having to repattern our way of thinking will be needed time and time again as we continue to live. Those blockages need to be cleared though so the energy can flow through. :)

Reply
Jody
6/4/2022 05:30:08 pm

Thank you for this! We are strong, we will not apologize, we will support each other! Our mantra must be positive, our circles must be supportive, our successes will be many! 🌊🌊🌊

Reply
Teagan link
6/7/2022 07:38:43 am

YES!!!!! That has been my constant reminder to myself- do not apologize. <3 It's when you stop apologizing and do everything that you said that the success will be many. :)

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    Author
    Teagan Wasrud

    If you are looking for something that is going to make you think deeply, reflect, get honest with yourself, cry a little, and laugh a little, then this is the place for you. 
    My name is Teagan and I’m looking for an outlet where I can share my deepest thoughts and perspectives on life to not only help me but others too. Maybe we can feel a little less alone in this world and uncover our true selves or maybe just be true to ourselves. Each week (or so, depends upon what the week brings) I’ll be sharing something that has me thinking or something that I’m trying to uncover. It might be a little all over the place but that’s me! I have no writing background but what I do have are thoughts and feelings that I know that others can relate to. I’m writing to you, to me, to everyone everywhere so that we can come together to learn to be our best selves.

    We will have highs and lows much like the waves of the sea. Together we will become unstoppable, vast, courageous, and bigger than life. Like the sea, we will make the world more beautiful and vibrant; we will not apologize for the imprint we leave on this planet. We will
    Become the Sea. ​

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