Was there a moment or time in your life where you felt like you weren’t being heard?
Maybe you were trying to help someone or you were trying to help yourself but it felt like no one was listening.
When I was younger, I felt like that often. I wrote this a while ago when I was in a place of unease and felt like I had no voice. These were the thoughts and voices in my head. And let me tell you, things got crazy; my thoughts were running rampant. I’m sharing this with you to let you know that you are not alone. Have you had these kinds of thoughts or moments? The ones where you felt like everything around you was spinning? I’ve been there...
I feel like I'm shouting and no one is listening to me. Can they hear me? Am I not loud enough? What is wrong with me; why can't they hear me? Don't they see what is happening here? This isn't how things are supposed to be.
I tell people how I feel and they don't respect it. They brush off my feelings; they brush me off. Did I not actually say it or did I just say it in my head? Did I say it wrong? What didn't they understand? Were they not actually listening? Do I have it wrong? Should I not feel that way? Why don't they trust what I say? I follow through with what I say and my feelings match my actions. What did they actually hear? What is wrong with me?
The ones that have listened took things from me. Were they actually listening to me? Were they pretending to listen? What am I saying that is making them think that this was okay or what I wanted? Why did they not actually listen? Am I not good enough? What is wrong with me?
I encourage them and try to walk alongside people but they don't move. Don't they see that I believe in them? That I love them. Do they not feel it? What am I not saying to them? Why do they ask me to tell them things and then they don't listen? I know it's hard to make changes but why ask if you don't want to know? It’s gotta be me. What is wrong with me?
I'm screaming in pain and leaking out masses of sadness but no one is listening. No one hears it. It feels like it is ringing in my ears, it's bleeding from my mouth...these words. It's hurting. I just want someone to listen. Can't they hear the hope in my voice for them to notice? Why won't anyone listen?
What I know now…
Hunni, maybe just maybe, no one is listening to you because the one person that should be listening isn't.
That person is you.
There is one person in this world that can understand you, listen to you, and love you unconditionally. That one person is you.
Have you taken a moment to just stop and listen to yourself? Be your own best friend and when it feels like no one is listening to you, be that person for yourself. There is something inside of you that needs to be heard and loved; give yourself that, even if it’s just a little bit.